Natalia Vodianova by Peter Lindbergh

Something is missing in the pit of my stomach. I feel the charcoal staircase rupturing, then filling in the cracks of the blank moon. Devastation. Delusion. I see my blue arms extended to the poles of molestation, a sudden resolution of black and white vintage movies. My kitchen sink evaporates somewhere. Devastation.

The monotony of this body screams till my black walls fall, a sunken truth in this concoction of empty bowls and folded curtain stretches. Elasticity. The hands are empty, crooked, decayed.

Oh yes, there is an eclipse appearing on my black braids, swinging swiftly like my lips did once to lick that butter kiss. Appearances and traits are cellophane clinging to my white forehead. The lights appear bound, seized. Stagnate.

I pray and pray to wither the molten frames and fragments. Catharsis. Purification.

The cheek tint once filled the blue sky, the blue water, with sheets of pure cotton. Fidelity loops sinking onto the carvings of my feet. Parachuting in the snow. That was then.

For now, I see the mockery of time sitting onto my sharp laps, like a reservoir or a womb, gazing as I decay and fall and shatter and shatter into ashes.



61 thoughts on “Absent

  1. Hey this is second poem in dark seems today your moods are bad.Especially this poem is reflecting lot of darkness.You used lot of black colour in the lines.I can understand.First paragraph is saying that you are really missing something,and that feeling is slowly rupturing you which you compared with staircases and all. And you said about kitchen.Maybe you are trying to tell that It’s is the most time you spent time with loneliness. and second paragraph clearly states that there is no one to share your feelings except the empty bowls and folded curtains.It gives s sick feeling inside my stomach when I imagine a person in that situation it’s a hell. And third paragraph says about the effect ,like how are you into darkness,and I think any person facing this feels that time is not at all moving.You said that with very beautiful line ” light stagnate and seized..” fourth paragraph you are trying to get out of this labyrinth of pain,by praying,maybe to almighty.When someone is not there to share you generally start speaking to invisible force,and it made you little better.and in fifth paragraph,you remembered about the beautiful past May be with your husband or may be with parents or special ones.But you said fidelity,I should take it as husband. And last paragraph about how time is showing you hell by shattering your body cells..ita soo painful.Devika are you okay ??? Because tags are anxiety and anger,dark.It’s not positive.Are you feeling lonely and sad??? Is it because of things which are going out of your hands?? Or it’s just a poem??

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh my!

      How do you have so much patience to write such a great review on my work. I am amazed! But I am fine probably.Though I must say your analysis and introspection is so on point that I was awe struck, completely.
      I really am grateful to you for giving such a vivid read and picking up lines that are actually sharp and dark. But it’s okay, I am a dark person most of the time.
      Thank you for your concern.

      I am truly honoured and speechless!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Are you awestruck because of my long paragraph??? If that is the reason don’t be ,because I love writing it.And patience is something you need for which you don’t like.But here I enjoy process.It’s like sitting infront of you and talking to you.And May be the poem can be about your present situation or can be any persons life.But it really reflects sorrow and pain.Many writers here,mainly women love darkeness and I don’t know why.But they are soo sensitive about feelings and soo empathetic.And you always reflect the words in long lines.I should say thank you for that.And if you are really going through tough times,don’t worry.Because That’s the time you learn lot about your innerself and others perspective towards you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Darkness is subjective and I love floating in to it. All the women who love darkness does the same because it gets into your bone if you have actually felt a bad phase in your life.
        I am glad you don’t have to and I wish all the very good luck to you.
        I know this shall pass and as I said I am fine also. Things happen and pass.

        All the best to you!

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Devika, you do darkness so, so well. Absence can feel so heavy, weighing-down the mind until it’s felt in the pit of the stomach. I love the word choice in the first stanza, setting a dark mood: charcoal, blank, devastation, delusion, molestation… The reference to a purer time, with those blue skies, is perfectly juxtaposed with the rest of the piece and emphasizes the longing felt inside. I can feel the irritation, swing in mood, and the anger while sensing the depth of yearning to have that absence filled. Beautiful poetry, as always, dear poet!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Not that sad though .It is relieving Devika….. Two in the same boat will always find courage in each other’s eyes and a will to live seeing how beautiful we look as we smile…. and there their strong hands on oars will paddle through the storms….

        This is how i relate to sadness!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. The ambivalence of darkness. Though in poetry we’re ravenous for it, and defend it like Stockholm syndrome.
    “My kitchen sink evaporates somewhere ❤ "
    We're all fortunate to be able to witness your divine artistry before our own eyes.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Well, there are times when I get into my cocoon, and lately that has been happening more often. Also, a couple of health issues impede my course of writing. I have been trying hard to be regular, but have been failing miserably. Now you know why I keep diappearing. 😁


        Liked by 1 person

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