Rubbing my fragile hands over my soiled neck,
I felt a vibration from the crooked radio’s tune
The twirls of flaccid rays and patterns of black and white
always speak the sweet dazzling truth.
My mouth says the violent words as my eyes perch on illusion.
This world makes me sick and sick till my heart spills
collision, evaporation, disappearance.
I am a convex tube of dying lotus,
sinking on the ebb of dark air. I am dark, yet beautiful.
Palpitations of bleeding words, conjure my virgin existence.
I hear your cactus voice, deciphering and churning my own blessings
I am sick today. I am no one today for my poetry even rests today.
©My Valiant Soul
“I am a convex tube of dying lotus,”
How beautifully crafted is this particular line! I loved this entire poem. Your imaginary is lively. 💜☺️
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So glad to know you felt my verse.
Thank you for your sincere words and read.
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Extravagant, Elegant and charm all in one.
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Wow!
What a beautiful thing to say.
I am obliged!
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M feeling good to have read high dose stuff.
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Haha.
Thank you.
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It’s not you, who want to disappear. It’s the readers who shall disappear in the world of thought dimension… your create such stuff.
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If that happens, I would feel grateful to my readers for a little thought processing is vital too!
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Indeed m always looking for such stuff…good things is now I know where to find it.
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You are free to browse my words anytime.
Much appreciate your thoughts!
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Ah. Same to you.
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Thank you. Auteur
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Wow! Clearly your poetry has found away to speak while you nurse the malady eating away in the darkness. There are so many beautiful images in your work.The soiled neck, from sweat or tears, or both. I felt the fever rise. I see those black and white keys of a piano, maybe, playing the radio or the black and white could be thoughts that are often cut and dry but the poet sees more vividly than that, understanding nothing is black and white in life. All these things reverberate within the poet and music, never lies for it touches the soul. I love how you juxtapose the violent mouth of words with the eyes staring into illusion – questions whether or not what is experienced is real or not. These lines are so spot on: …this world makes me sick and sick till my heart spills/ collision, evaporation, disappearance… it’s relevant to what is happening in the world and within the poet, herself. Worlds colliding, people colliding, thoughts colliding, the they evaporate and disappear. This can apply to anything from love, to friendships and to the individual conflicts within the poet’s mind and heart. The convex tube, pushes away, the lotus ebbing on dark air, and the cactus voice, pricking the ears and heart until you bleed. Wow! That is just a brutally violent image. Yet, there you are, beautiful in the darkness, that ray of hope that exists even when the poet feels ill. Again, my friend, you may be feeling a little like that convex tube of dying lotus, but your poetry is formidable and brilliant – you are not lost for words for your heart speaks when you perhaps cannot! You know it, Devika, this is profound poetry from title to last word!!
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I can not be grateful much to you after reading this beautiful comment.
You make me go numb at times.
And truly you have absorbed all the essence of my words hidden so brilliantly that I feel did I even write that well..for you unveiled it perfectly.
The lotus scene is so well understood by a genius like you.
My words are at times lost in the oblivion but a genuine reader and a fabulous poet like you only knows the hidden metaphor or the speech and that touches me.
So very thankful to have you as a writer friend on this platform. I really appreciate your kind gesture, always!
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Your words are a gift, dear poet. What you say impacts the soul and leaves the reader with much to think about. These are dark times and there is darkness, outside and inside the cellular walls. When writing is this good, one can only sit and absorb in awe and your words, may feel lost to you, but they have a home here. You are most welcome, dear friend, and I, too, am humbled to be able to share the love of poetry with a formidable writer like you. Peace, love, harmony, and respect to you and may the remainder
of your night bless you and your pen!!
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Thankyou so much for all this respect.
It really means a lot coming from an eminent writer like you!
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Most welcome!!! And thank you 🙂
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Anytime!
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Freshly saying …you are just incredible with poetry!! I did take a moment of rest at your last line …it is a pregnant pause where even the poetry rests …
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Oh my! 🙏
How can you shower so much of love always dear!!
So many hugs to you.😊
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I feel a very high respect for your work truly. Love and joy to you 🙂
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Aww.
❤🙏
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If you call writing a great poem as your poetry resting, then ok 😀
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Can you please come again?
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As your final line says even your poetry rests today. I would not expect such a great poem to be written on the day it’s “resting.”
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Oh, I see.
My poetry is not resting for if it would have been, how would I write down my emotions?!
It is a figurative speech though.
Thank you much for liking my words, really.
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Beautiful!!!!!!
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Thank you dear!
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amazing imagery! sometimes that rest is necessary for the soul ❤
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Thanks, love!😊
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The words you poured so well conjure the life. Life we all live. Life the poet is going through.
This is astounding. Just wow.
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Sad that you know this pain but again it makes us wise only.
Thanks for your dear words my sweet friend.
You are amazing!❤
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“My mouth says the violent words as my eyes perch on illusion.”
I think this line describes that moment of realization from where all poetry emerges. It’s the pain and the passion. Beautiful and raw.
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The line can be perceived in so many ways and yours is as brilliant.
Thank you so much for your words!
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Thank you for yours, Ms. Valiant 😊
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Poetry aside, get well soon
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Oh please sir.
Do comment on my poetry only. Haha.
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For sure. I am here to obey 😊
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A wonderful concept.. U wrote brilliant
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Thanks Rashmi.
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Hey, you. Honestly, I’m happy to see writing from you again. I was hoping you were okay. Life… I understand the struggles that come with it sometimes.
You have an amazing mind, this is proof:
“This world makes me sick and sick till my heart spills
collision, evaporation, disappearance.
I am a convex tube of dying lotus,
sinking on the ebb of dark air. I am dark, yet beautiful.”
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I cannot even express my love for you right now Tre.
I was busy in so many things and missed my ink like hell. Well I had to come back after all and this is still not my new work.
I will be writing soon and will be reading you soon. Thanks for this love as always.
❤️❤️
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It’s new to me because I wasn’t here during its origination. You take your time. When you come back, truly come back, the words will come with you. *big hugs*
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Oh yes, I do remember that.
Hope you are well too!❤️
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I am well. Thank you. 😊
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I am a convex tube of dying lotus,
sinking on the ebb of dark air. I am dark, yet beautiful
This line stood out for me! Simply beautiful, though the poetry was dark. 😊😊
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My poetries are maximum dark only, for that is the cryptic truth of this life.
Thank you dear writer friend!
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I don’t agree, waise. It’s basically a mental game, as far as I understand, and as far as I have read. But, life’s pretty unfair. Hmm. I get it. 😊
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… dearest… this is so touching…
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❤️
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Dark yet beautiful, speaking sweet dazzling truth…this stands true for your poetries and you.I love reading this poetry piece & you always stays best among rest dear sister.
Keep writing & have a great week ahead!😇
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You are one of my dearest reader Prashant and I highly value your comments.
So many thanks!
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“Palpitations of bleeding words, conjure my virgin existence.”
This line stood out as the most meaningful. It’s a paradox that we can retain our innocence while in the midst of this mad world, ever going forth, observing perversions and dying souls. What must we do with everything we absorb but to palpate and bleed it all out through our pores? I hope you’re doing well, Devika, despite the neverending whirlwind…
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So beautiful ❤️
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Aww❤️❤️
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Last three lines, completing a circle beautifully…nailed it. Great. 👍
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Thank you Ankan.
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My pleasure.
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Your word choice is always so intricate and I admire it so much. Well done.
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Ah, Elle.
It means a lot coming from you.
I do love your work.
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I am a convex tube of dying lotus,
sinking on the ebb of dark air. I am dark, yet beautiful.
I loved these lines . Well crafted and your imagination is commendable 👌
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I am surprised that everybody appreciated my this specific part of the verse.
Glad I am dear!
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Yupppp, this specific verse itself seems coming out from intangible energy energised in your brain . Damm creative 👏
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❤️❤️
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Another perfect capture of a moment, in between dry swallows. This makes me want to know what you were listening to….who has that cactus voice.
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I do not exactly remember my source of inspiration while writing this.
Thank you anyway for your insights. I am touched.
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Beautiful. I love you and your writing so much
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I am dark, yet beautiful.This sums up beautifully for your poetry Devika. How beautifully you can use the pain surrounding you and make it sing to your tune.My poetess is back.
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Oh yes, she is back.
Thank you so much.❤️
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lovely! i’m slipping surreal plates under my writing… churches under jetties, crocodiles under islands… feel free to check out the stories :))
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