Language. Who needs it? It’s nothing but a scattered pretty way of illusionary numbers. Romancing with minds and tongues. Shifting bones of vertigo sky. Across my white bare body and this vibrating fall—language stops existing suddenly. Linguistics is nothing but a way the syntax of my paper heart breathes. Water condensed, without any stabilizer. I understand I must stay happy as I have been asked. I must walk.
I must love and I must sleep. I understand I must chew my food a thousand times before it punches my gut to vomit a disappearing fever. But friend, life is more than this- more than survival, existence, wounds- more than interpretations. More than the yeast of existing . Swelled up library inside the eyes. We can not win anymore nor can we lose- it’s the language that laughs all throughout life- hiding underneath the shades of glory. It’s the language of abyss between the voids. To be or not to be. To celebrate or to loathe.
This is what we crave. Collective mirth and fragments of life. Even the water seeks shelter, trees look for companions- we the social animals, what else do we require if not intimacy and love? The ripples of the sky amidst the dark cauldrons-but it indeed shines abruptly. Partially crooked with foam in a fist and mud in another. The roads are man. Who walks onto them but? I see these oddities almost everyday. My sentiments leaking from my either cheeks and merging into the clavicle. The shoulder often freezes to think of strong bond- numbness followed. How do people structure it perhaps? A two level- multi-faceted hoax. I hold pittiness in one fist and air in another and think of animals and their supremacy in a few sense. But as an artist, we see light and observe darkness almost in everything- so why this void? A barren shape, contour, a detached light- these small elements not falling into right place. I consider my mouth as an window instead of a door-It wanders abruptly-looking for attachments and dreams. Dust and salt. All things small and sweet. Blisters and stomach. Spit and skin. Yet, I fail to strive this opague density of life.
I do not believe in new years- a new beginning. I have a different mindset related to it and I do not want to sound gloomy but here I am to know how you all have been?
If I have missed some stunning work, I would love to read it. Let me know what are your goals, plans, habits etc for this month, this year, or anything which fixes in you in a good way. A reminder- that I am not talking about toxic positivity but anything which enhances a soft corner in your heart. Let me know in the comments.
I have given a theme to my this year- “Satisfaction”. I am trying to connect my works with the theme. It’s not a resolution ..because there is nothing like that, I guess. I believe in mindsets and habits rather.
the itch, the orange glass ceilings always fail my existence, an inhuman thing sinks beneath my eyelids walking abruptly, in patterns unknown, there are things which makes no sense a loose river like madness a loose butter like sky slipping from my white hands, my hands which are now counting the marks of my footprints making a spiral knot about this moments, this momentary void inside of me, this permanent injuries inside of me. as everything engulfs everything the violence in its own chest the cold murder of my hands and the body still counts the days left to breathe.
I wrote my poetry book – Crimson Skins out of pain, love, despair. Hope you like it too. Links can be checked out here- IT’S AVAILABLE AT HALF THE COST ON POTHI.:) I have posted the reviews for my book in past posts, check it out if you are skeptical. I would appreciate it. Crimson skins – US Crimson Skins- POTHI Subscribe to my newsletter- https://tinyletter.com/my_valiant_sou
I hear it from the shallow bush beneath my feet.
Drop by drop. The noise of silence.
an embalmed kiss of spewing night
an old lady combing the hair,
zig-zag, the ghosts on the staircase,
often too blatant.
I sometimes think
and sniff the ink of other poets,
the others; who wander in lonely nights,
coughing the dust of clandestine tales,
the saucer with the spilled tea,
the thick frame
and the spoiled tunics,
too much I see for it blinds me,
This noise corrupts my hands and bones,
an illusion of reality, such a blunder to occur.
The noise sits in my chest,
fidgeting with the mind, often.
It does not leave,
it stays like an early rain,
too empty yet beautiful.
I remember the absurdness of clouds spread over my head, hovering. Blue lilies dancing in the sky. A quiet place of porous Gods. I would stare at the sky, releasing my chemical reactions in the thin air. My orange vase neck, oscillating between the concrete human eye and the prism of soil. I would name it Illusion.
Phonetic switch of moonflowers and blurred windowpanes. I saw it all.
At times, I would be a God myself, walking through the soil where the humans sew each other, excavating noises. Annihilation of a cold muse in the sky.
There are shapes and humans walking up above, flickering heir worldly eyes. I have it all,
in my pockets full of moaning psalms,
rolling down my sliding cheeks.
I carry a piece of everything, everywhere I travel.
Another day has gone.
I sit and pray like a maniac,
with a white smile, you can count on.
I prepare breakfast and prepare a story to tell.
I prepare so many wild things often.
Bricks on bricks, and soft wool of tales.
You left like a reptile in a hibernation.
with floors slipping beneath my china body.
i pray and pray. That’s what i know the best.
I once prayed during my abortion,
beating the sweats and my blood.
my blood was thick as a waxed cloud.
Oh, how i wish you stayed!
What is that flows and flows behind my ears?
A life. A full stop. An endless conversation with life.
Over the years I have developed a harpoon of olive skins.
Skins that are cleaved too.
They haunt me in moments of despair.
They haunt me in these bright shiny days.
And here I am sitting, sunbathed, moth running on this fungus swiveled hands.
Eating and flapping my heavy bosom.
It speaks beautiful anatomy to me.
Oh yes, it does create a map on my toes,
a map on my mind.
Here I traverse, sideways like a waterfall. A soft and a quiet one. I am not in a sad mood today! Autumn is my favorite season. It speaks only the truth, the brown fallen truth.
And I swallow it like a sincere patient, popping a pill to be alright.
“this is the easy time, there is nothing doing”- Sylvia Plath
Cherries and quieter moments
basking in the volatile spur of the moment
and there I sit and gulp your madness
your cold, hot waxy madness.
I wonder, how you eat my skin in the noon,
with a cheek of sublime apple,
water ripple flushing my eye.
winters are blankets of love and pain.
you sink like a twig in a swamp,
and you still want to clasp the moon.
My nostrils cold,
with you in it,
a sleepless satire of pale face.
I sit, a wall of clock eating my claw,
my fist aching,
counting the floating moment of time,
A catharsis of breeze often romances with my bosom
telling me talks of air, crisp and erratic.
And there, I am lost, empty, earthed like air.
There is color alchemy. yellow, yellow pavements calling me to collapse. And there is a bowl, I see reflection, ripples, colors again.
some old memoirs.
a hush and a loud roar.
The wind occupies the ecosystem,
The shapes of water signs as if dancing swiftly.
The sensuous textures I see in the waters.
Crystals, Fountains and a sky full of mirrors.
I bend to pray, to touch it,
that moist lacking words I see,
fluttering kiss of my bare skin,
I see myself like a lantern these days,
a conversation lost and preserved.
There is a formation of orchid on my backbone,
a deep, magenta picture of weeds too.
A color array clinging. I am maybe a star for today.
There is this whole universe wrapping my body today.
this moon does to me what spring does to me.
the serendipity of lost lovers,
aching inside a tubewell of noises.
numb eyes, pink lips.
a lover’s greet.
beneath the shadow of the piroutte moon,
something surreal occurs,
a mother runs, runs like a fever.
a wife declutters her soul.
a tongue becomes colorless.
and a circle of hiccups surrounds this moon,
a silk bathrobe, caressing against the collarbone.
it happens like dyslexia,
a galvanizing moment perhaps. people swirl here as if they do not care.
a soft satin kiss
it happened before and it happened today,
i lay on the sides of my kitchen sink
thinking the arrival and departure of my husband,
arrival of his velvet mouth that utters a chain of lantern.
he is adorable, like the moon.
he has his own mood, often.
the purgatory of life resides in this cobweb.
things ascend and descend in a ghoulish manner.
a blue-knitted shawl on the cold chest.
things around me pamper me,
this lone time also pampers me,
i walk and create art in the garden,
in am vacant – small, terrace with broken chipped walls,
something happened there maybe.
a spectral wire of corrosive shade and memory.
a twitch that shakes me.
often i am speechless,
the kind of attack when your fingers
won’t fit in your mouth.
eyes shut and small. that’s another kind of suicide.
mondays and Tuesdays are my favorites, i watch my body decaying until Sunday comes,
and i am a piece of supine tied at the block of a tree.
so i am alive,
i cling to the nakedness of moment like a toddler to a mother.
the sky to apathetic rain,
the embalming breeze to the leaves…
something rhetoric and oblivious.
at the end of the day, i weep, laugh, take pause, clap and sip it all.
my eye behaves in a torrential tobacco sniff.
i want to grow like trees and shrubs,
with my soft lids still on,
pages rustle my thick blood often,
a sound to hum
i want to take everything in at once,
moisture, dry breeze slapping my jaws
everything like sleeping beauty.
thick sheets of frozen memories are bizzare,
i know it. i understand.
still i want to swallow and eat it raw,
this moon so bright,
this sun so dark,
it burns often.
The forest was never the surreal thing.
it was the precarious noise of falling leaves,
scars left behind in the woods.
uncluttered weight of brightness.
and i grew like a moth amidst this silence.
with words cluttered.
pale moonlight rumbling the laws of detachment.
i have sniffed loneliness like no one ever did
i am the writer, the melancholy soul aches a pain.
a pain artistic like dust on my desk.
cob webs mind game. Pleasure in pain.
Each day i grow poetry out of my stillborn toes
where words drip honey, moisture and powder to evolve,
Words. They rotate inside my iris, whirlpooling like catharsis.
Inch by inch, shifting like the moon,
embossing the sky, they perch on orchids,
to suck nectar,
to suck poetry from there.
And I see and grow outnumbered limbs all over my body.
The facets from my skin leak poetry as a seduction,
Romancing to ink, stains and silhouettes,
Life’s favourite romance is with poetry.
I have prolonged life maybe
and words are a lengthy delusion,
Quieter yet stronger.
Autumn reminds me of things untouched,
glass window, stains on the broken leaves,
cup and cigars, molasses of thunder
I bend and whiff the rosemary bowl of smells,
incessant yearning smell of dear darling
a voice of hypnotic fluid, lush green in my blood
Chewing lemon grass like an ant of wisdom,
i pick and collect theories of autumn love,
(i have been dying already autumn summons now)
People say a thing is beautiful, if loved
and so i ingest this orange season of cruise and clumps,
like a cluttered bun- knot,
my injured knee pain.
A canticle to slip in my dreams,
slender like the shape of my body.
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