Often, I am a whole another woman.
A woman who sighs with almond breaths,
oceanic concave shape of my face,
something like an oval,’with fingers typing “slow, breathe”
somewhere in this moist air.
This woman is inside my onion mind,
slithering an oculus bowl of chipped nights.
ah, eh, ah, eh
the voices are hollow,
and the dreams are crippled.
They modify too often, along with my neighbour’s talk.
I hear it like a tunnel.
Often, i am complete,
the stem of a leaking shoot.
The colours of my lovers words suffice the pain.
it happens, during the night,
i am not a sex object.
He makes me full.
Often, i just close my eyes,
these eyelids refuse to sleep,
they rather douse its callous mind in pain,
sobbing and sniffing
mirror plays a friend, too.
embossing my pain, love, all at once.
when you step your foot on the thin film of the sheet,
there is a red lampshade, moist and speaking mute voices.
you take a right turn then and you see a pill of god.
you slurp it backward, at the tip of your tongue,
thinking it shall slip softly down in your stomach,
hushing the coiled noises.
you always step backwards,
at night, like dirt, dust.
a morphed arm,
for you were a burden throughout the day
and you sulked too backwards,
life eating the humans.
my lips curled, bitten like half-lit moon
speaking up things bizarre, backwards,
into the sky that spreads between my white legs.
i finish reading, walking all in a backward motion.
often i survive in this perfection.
i rub my hands, to circulate a thread of warmth onto my cheeks.
i live like that. Backwards.
My bathroom falls, like walls bleeding poetry of forlorn wrists. The process of cleansing my body is like knotting my untamed hair into a Chinese Bun. The tools twist and become a shapeshifter. The water bath suddenly acts as an agent. chemical reaction running through my body. My bathtub is a war-like place, and I sit and smirk on my scars often, it’s more than a cleansing outside perhaps. I mingle wild, esoteric tears with that of hot-water to see the cracks running like a wild-fire. My body dissolving into pieces of nothingness. Hollow formations defining the next move, the next moment…here. I plunge the scrubber into my mouth, vomiting and rubbing the rims. The broken mansions, the eerie space. Rinse & rinse till i rinse more and more.
I sew a thread to my body, marking my periphery. It’s a process of insanity clicking, body shrinking. My breast smells that of an old oak tree, and arms weeping. The co-existence is a strange thing. Beneath the shedding of a star, another awakes. My ionized memory now fading inside the firmament of this deep ocean, awake & dead. Crystal knots yet invincible to the naked eye.