Did you hear the storms and see the opaque thunders?
The time when a body is a box of twitches and imperfections
like pervasive corrosion of diamonds,
too deep and too broad to demarcate a periphery.
A thunderbolt is riveting inside my earlobe.
A thin film of vintage cassettes play the sorrows,
trembling in the momentum of hurricane body.
Ransacking inner soul to find a twitch, a glitch.
A pack of stars drowned in the blue hemisphere
Music: an extension of crooked smiles,
Swaying of broken memories and false hopes
Is that you hear too?
©My Valiant Soul
Wow amazingly expressed with technological terms…i love it..
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Glad you loved it.
Much thanks!
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Keep writing…
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Haha sure!
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Beautiful 🌹
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I am humbled.
Thank you so much!:)
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☺your depth of emotion is moving.
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Means a lot always!
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🌹🌹 I’m pleased. ☺
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It is now becoming a bit cliche for me to be flabbergasted by your gems.
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Okay, that was a nice thing to hear but I want to make sure it is all cliche? Though I know your intentions.
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No, Devika. See, I am too small to critique. If I love something, I definitely admire it. Rest be assured .I always give a honest opinion.
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Yeah, that is really nice of you.
Thank you!
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Anytime Madam
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😊
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Sigh….scars so deep and broad that the body is a box of corroding diamonds without periphery… opaque thunder (deeply visual and great use of oxymoron as we never think about seeing thunder)…thunderbolt riveting in the ear…hurricane body…vintage cassettes playing sorrow…swaying and moving…. twitching…Devika, I know no other poet in the world, who writes like you do. Your uniqueness is your instrument and your words, deep, intelligent, vivid and brilliant, sparkle like stars against a dark night sky. This is one of those pieces that speak top and through me. We all want to know if that someone experiences the storms like we do. Your work is truly breathtaking.
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Oh my! Alex
Trust me, out of all your remarks somehow this is my favourite and i have no specific reason why.
I am glad you saw the use of Oxymoron and there my friend I am satisfied.
It touches my heart when a gem like you gives your review which is ofcourse pious to me.
You know my world, you know my dark secret words and you know me as a poet too.
Thank you for everything and your constant showering of blessings.
You are incredible!🙏
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You are most welcome, Devika. It’s funny you say this because I found this poem to be on of my favorites but I can’t say exactly why. I guess some things cannot be expressed in word so we let our feelings course through our thoughts and then we do our best to try and explain what, how and why we feel. Reading you is always a blessed experience – it’s like going to a temple to cleanse the spirit. For that, I am truly grateful!!! Peace, respect and a lifetime of blessings upon you, my dear poetic friend 🙂
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Temple! You have given me a kind of respect that I won’t be able to utter in a few words.
You make me feel important that way. Thank you so much my writer friend!
Honoured, truly!🙏
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You are most welcome, Devika! Blessings!!
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Ive always admires your play with words Di!
Idk why your posts arent showing in my feed. Im gonna refollow you, lets see if it helps. 🙂
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Hi!
It’s great to see you brother. Hope you keeping well and yeah re following me might work.
Thank you for your words!
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“corrosion of diamonds”
“A pack of stars drowned in the blue hemisphere”
These are some of exceptional pieces of imagery. Part of what can make an image standout so strongly in a reader’s mind is an unusual or different way to describe things from what we are used seeing. Such images are “fresh” and often provide a new a way of looking at things and will standout and be remembered by a reader.
Over the years doing different kinds of writing the greatest compliment I could give a writer in my mind was if when I read something they had written I would say to myself…”I wish I had written that…”
These lines fall in that category.
As I said, they are exceptional in the visual images they create.
Have a nice day Star Diamond.
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And once again you have humbled me by your sweet gesture.
Your writings are pure and magical and i truly love them. I cannot imagine comparing my imageries with your vivid ones.
Still I am pleased to hear your sweet words as you praise me even more Forrest!
Your blessings are my guidance I guess.
Thankyou for this lovely lines and your precious time on my work.
Peace to you!
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Gosh! You have captured my heart again. 😍😍😍💙
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Aww.
Thank you.
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Your way with words is just truly incredible to me, I never want to move on without commenting and I do not have words to comment 🙂
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Oh god you!
Seriously you are a perfect soul PD.
Sending love to you.😊
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You are a beautiful heart to say that to me 🙂 Hugs.
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😊
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Oh this is such a fantabulous piece 😍😍
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So happy to see you dear.
Lots of love!
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Love ❤️
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Nice poem!
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🙏🙏
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I 💙 the imagery here. Really made me connect with the poem. And the emotions almost bought goosebumps.
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Thankyou my dear friend.
You have a lovely night!❤
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You too darling!
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Amazing!
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I love it! You write so well 💖
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Hi Eli.
Thank you so much for this lovely feedback.😊
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You’re welcome✨
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The use of auditory images is so unique, this poem leaves me overwhelmed.
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Your words are calming!
Thank you🙂
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calming, you say everytime I comment 😇..and I comment because I can’t help it..your writing is sublime, makes the reader or at least me get lost in the poetic world of surreal images, emotions, thoughts..
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Truly at times I am out of words to see your kind comments and all I am left with is that you make me smile. So thank you for all of this, ESP!:)
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and you make me smile saying that, my comments may sound kind because you are humble but I am usually very objective about what I write, you must have noticed.
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Yes, I have noticed that I am pretty fond of it.
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Still smiling..see –> 🙂
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