Ventilation bursts my shout outside the hole
the frontal lobe of pain puts the pain on
the clamour my dark pink lipstick
the soil declining to wake me up
Tug of war.
A lie in my pharynx.
the knuckles of my hand
like the cover of a coconut from my backyard
Hard yet soft
Veracity lies in the mouth of wise old man
I hear, the squawk, tearing off the beetle leaf
in the innermost layer of my earlobe
the faint smell of roses striking off
the underlying scintillating pieces of star
Explosions I hear,
Darkening the repetitions, sketching my faded outline
with the black soil, no fertility I apprehend.
Ohh!! But I suppose than every cloud have sliver lining!! Beautifully composed with font style and image perfect
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That’s you being optimistic which I adore.
Thankyou for your feefback dear.:)
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Most welcome!!😊😊😊
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This…
Everything about these lines are stellar:
“A lie in my pharynx. the knuckles of my hand like the cover of a coconut from my backyard Hard yet soft”
Simply stellar.
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Thankyou tre for your birds.
It’s nice to hear from you.:)
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You’re most welcome. 😊
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Hi there,
Welcome to the blogging world. I’m really enjoying reading your poems. They are beautifully written and very emotive. They conjure up a lot of imagery. I have not written poetry in many years but it is something I would like to explore again further. I will hopefully be taking a creative writing course in the near future.
I am also a new blogger (just completed my about page) and my blog will mostly be about areas of my life that I would like to improve on. I’m certain that creative pursuits will be in there somewhere! Good luck with your blog.
https://tallulahbellesite.wordpress.com
Tallulah
X
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Thankyou for your kind gesture!
I am technically not new to blogging world, infact had my one year anniversary recently but got my blog deleted so this is a new start.
I adore you dropping a glance on my posts.
Looking forward for your writing!
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The key line that may be easily overlooked in this poem is:
“Tug of war”
It’s so simple it stands out.
The imagery is strong once again, but I think one has to read the “feel” of the poem as
they will not know the meaning of all images. With the title “A Faded Star”, and the final
line: “with the black soil, no fertility I apprehend.” The feel of the poem with “Tug of war”
is the person is going through a bit of an internal discussion, with some conclusions to that being a bit painful.
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I think the title says that a star is supposed to be shining indeed it’s faded which brings us to the last line highlighting the poem’s title.
Nothing here is positive.
“Tug of war”
This depicts the sad imagery of one’s mind.And so does”black soil”.
Yes this is a painful expression as you said Forrest and you absorbed it flawlessy once again!
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All the pieces of the puzzle are there.
It just requires a bit of careful assembly.
You have a wonderful rest of your evening Devika. 🙂
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I guess I need to learn that.
Thankyou once again.
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What I meant was… I think you are placing the pieces of the puzzle just fine.
It’s up to the reader to do the assembly. You don’t need to learn or change a thing.
You should just keep doing what you’re doing…it’s working well.
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Oh, then it’s a good thing.
Thank you for the confirmation as your analysis is always to the point.
So honoured!
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As I read I thought ‘super nova’ and ‘black hole’. The depth of sensory stimulation in your piece is inspiring and so many great lines in your work highlighting beautiful figurative language. Sometimes we are all like fading stars, dimming quietly after that explosion when our bits are scattered across the universe. I love this!!
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Hi there!
You are so correct friend, that explosion is often deep enough to darken the pits and holes.A fading star is all about that moment as you felt it too.
Thankyou for such a motivating feedack.
Much love.
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Hi, MVS! I am happy I was able to connect with this piece. i love your writing, especially the depth of your understand of life and all it’s intricacies. Great poetry deserves to be talked about and I was moved to share some thoughts about your beautiful work.
Peace, joy and much love to you, friend. 🙂
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Aww, you are the sweetest!
I thoroughly enjoy your work as well and as you said great poetry deserves to be talked about.
Looking forward for your amazing poetries too!
Peace out.:)
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Just being honest!! 🙂 Thank you and here’s to the sharing of poetry today and tomorrow, should we be given tomorrow to write.
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We have all the days to write.:)
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Yes, we do, so let’s always take advantage of them 🙂
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You are really posting such wonderful pieces here.
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Aww.
You are kind enough to say that.:)
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I am being honest.
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I am flattered now.Blushing all the way!:)
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HAahaha
You deserve that.
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Hugs!:)
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Right back at you 😉
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Hey I’m seeing this one only now. 😀Cryptic yet beautiful!
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No worries dear.
I am still happy with your stumbling on this one.:)
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😀
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Oh my, D! So happy to have you in my mailbox again. I love your writing!! ❤️
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May I say you are adorable Dorinda!
Your wors are simply motivating.
Thank you!😚
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You’re so cute 🤗
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Oh jeez!
Lots of love to you.:)
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Beautiful.
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Much thanks.
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this is beautiful, as is all your work
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Thank you so much.
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Thank you so much.
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Very interesting read indeed.
Give mine a wee look i would love some feedback maybe 🙂
https://weenotions.wordpress.com/2017/09/02/doom-gloom/
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