Scratch my wounds
In avarice for further scratch
Burst the love seeds, only to discover
Another white layer of ghosts
The area of demure light-house
swallowing the intransigent reflection
on the seashore, killing molluscs
Spraying dark colour on golden fish
Peeling the outer space
Like a cold Potato.
Burn my ashes in my mouth
Discovered the inside ghost?
So carry that pointy dagger on my inept
Backbone, spill the blood
Spill on the modish pink cheeks
Turn me inside out
Do you now see? The inside ghost.
what happened 2 u ghooooooooooooooooooooooooooost
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Creative writing!
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liked it
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Thankyou.
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wc dr
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Inside ghost is with us all. Depends how we put it forward!! Super
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Yes true, a darker version still exists inside us which needs to be cured too.
Thank you for dropping by and paying a read.:)
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Most welcome 😊
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Creative! Just beautiful!
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Honoured, I am!
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Superb and very deep. Gives one much to ponder on
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Thankyou Dorinda!
It’s really great to hear from you.Hope you have a wonderful married journey further as you celebrated your anniversary today.:)
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This was thoughtful, I just wish my inside ghost would sometimes help me, just sometimes say something.
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Thankyou M!
The iside ghosts are not always friendly you see.They often creeps the inside of our minds as well.:)
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By the way, would you please check your spam comments? I am probably there!! Urgghh
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Oh, I don’t know how this happened.
You were actually in my Spam.
But I took you out of there.lol.
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It’s okay.
The glitches. everyone is facing this problem I guess.
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Yes that’s true.Irritating!
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I know, right? 😦
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I loved it, please visit my blog and follow if you like my work!
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The visual images you create in this poem are quite strong. They are particularly striking because they do not all neatly fit together, but create a variation in imagery that require each one to be read through carefully and reflected upon. Potato.
The strongest image is “Burn my ashes in my mouth” because it engages 2 out of our 5 senses. Strong visual. And there is not a reader who will read this who will not imagine the not so pleasant “taste” of ash upon their tongue.
You, thus, connect twice with your reader with this line….so it brings a special emphasis to it and will most likely be the image people most vividly remember sometime after reading poem.
You navigate and guide the reader to show them or ask can they see the ghost? You stop just short of revealing…out side the light house door?…leaving the reader to wonder, speculate, but not fully understand the ghost. It leaves them guessing. Wanting to know.
It’s a strong piece.
I’ll send you some separate private comments on poetry analysis.
Forrest
I write like an editor, because I used to be an editor.
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Oh great!You have given a detailed anaylsis of my work which is truly flattering.I somehow adore the word game as you said I want to keep it upto the readers to unravel the mysetry it holds.
I am more than pleased to know you loved my word imagery and could resonate with it in true sense, Forrest!
This is overwhelming to have a beautiful feedback from a great editor I must.
Thankyou.
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Great writing!
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Hi there!
I am thrilled to know you liked it.:)
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You are intensely creative in the fact that what you’ve described with the picture its raw and incredibly writing poetic work.
Your imagery of wordage is dark and I love that about writers. You are talented as hell and I’m really glad we are following each other’s work. Brilliant poetry as always. 🙂
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Your comment made me smile.It’s a thrilling feeling to have such wonderful remarks.
Thank you for taking out time to read as it means a lot and surely it has been great to read your work too!
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I can’t believe I wasn’t following you before. I love your work, it’s brilliant! 😃
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Oh thank you for your appreciation.My blog recently got deleted so you might have missed it there I guess.
I am glad you stopped by!
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You’re welcome and I’m glad I did! 😃
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Fantastic!
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Thankyou.
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Your welcome & thank you
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Beautifully written. Fabulous choice of words. The words painted a picture but the very next moment sprayed it again with some contradictions. The dark goldfish was beautiful and haunting at the same time. I suppose the inner ghosts don’t let us sit idle, there is an urge to peel off the surface to find what is inside, but the more we dig the more overly sprayed paintings we find inside.
Glad that I found this post.
Mesmerizing and haunting 🙂
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Yes, exactly! You have captured the essence of dark imagery very well.
It’s about inside as well as outside ghost, whatsoever.
I’m flattered to know how beautiful your feedback is.
Thankyou for paying a read!
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You are welcome:)
Thank you for your words.
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I read your work and I’m taken to that darkness where you were, beside you. Your mastery of the written word is intensely attractive!
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Oh, it’s an honor to receive such a beautiful feedback.
I am glad you took your precious time reading my work. Thank you, it means a lot.
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wtf lol jayrenfryn kik
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Great post! Thanks for checking out my blog!
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Thank you Ena!:)
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Oh, gosh. I can’t believe I missed more than a few. This is a mysterious look inside the mind of you, dear, poet, and perhaps a reflection of ourselves in the process. Ghosts in the mind can, indeed, hide beneath the layers of wounds and within the seeds of love. On the surface, we are simple people but underneath, within the cells buried beneath the folds of skin, within the caverns of the heart and soul, and in those echoes bouncing around the halls of the mind, those ghosts linger and haunt. I love where your poetry takes me and find myself ingesting every word and every line until I can ingest no more.
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I thought I might spook you out.
But good to know you liked what I did here.
Dark has always been my love.
There is so much beyond the white skins that is you unveil it, you see layers of dust and what not.
You got the picture perfectly as always!
That’s because you are a genius!
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Oh, you could never spook me out, Devika. Your words are so full of wonder and amazement. I always try to read you closely and I love the way you write and the things you write about. Falling in love with your words is so easy to do.
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Thank you my writer friend.
That means really a lot.
Your words are always special!
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You are welcome, Devika. Always!!!!!
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Hmmm. This shall be my starting point. Hmmm. I’ll be reading your blog from this point onwards. I just read what happened to your last webblog. So many poems man! But they’re all nice. Lately I’ve been cherry picking a bunch of Indian poetry blogs, and dissecting each one of them. Your poems have a sense of dark sensuality, Lana Del Rayish vibes off them. I’m sure that I’ll be learning a new art form here. So 2018 shall get devoted to the new budding inside of me. Keep sharing. Keep writing. You seem to be a good puppeteer of words, I feel! But let’s see. Cheers!
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